the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I have fence marks all over my body
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
