check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Nicole vs. Life
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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