i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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