i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
