Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
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i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
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Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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