I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
