After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Did I show you my penis last night?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
