I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
