im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
