i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
how drunk are you?
Several
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
