North Korea, Best Korea!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
