I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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