she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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