The maid of honor just puked.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
