I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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