Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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