I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
