he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
