After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
