hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
