I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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