her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
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I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
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Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize