so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hippo gnu deer
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
