I look better un-naked...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
