My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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