I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
