I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
