when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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