I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
