i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
