I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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