Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
