Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize