census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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