i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
