it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
