yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
