her vagine was all disorganized.
Someone shit on the floor
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
