oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
