Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
