guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
