I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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