508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
