marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
