I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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