She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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