I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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