im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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