hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
