She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
