if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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