They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
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She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
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A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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