It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
