I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
