Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
