We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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