Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
