this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
