Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
