shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
