Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize