Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
