I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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